Twat Twoubles..

I decided to write to Single Gals, in hopes of discovering that I am not alone and can quit feeling like a whiny little “pussy.”  My Twat (“T”) is sad. No, it’s not what you think, it’s not sad for lack of “action,” as I do have a long term boyfriend who constantly tries to molest me… and with the problems I’ve been dealing with, thank God for that!

 For the last year, I’ve been dealing with endless amounts of bladder infections which of course always lead to yeast infections (thank you antibiotics) which then get passed on to my boyfriend and then back to me. It’s like an ugly game of Tag. I’ve also had the pleasure of contracting a bowel infection, which like a bladder infection gives you the sensation of constant urination, but SURPRISE!!! lots of urine actually does come out! It also creates a weird tingling feeling that doesn’t exactly feel bad, but is questionable.

 I have also discovered that my “T” is quite sensitive in nature. I cannot count the times I have lifted my leg onto the tub and angled that hand mirror between my legs only to discover tiny little cuts around the “T” opening. Where the hell did these come from??? My Doc told me that one of these “cuts” was exactly where you tear when giving birth. So unless an 8lbs baby slipped out of my “T” when I wasn’t looking, he has no idea where this came from. Oh wait…not before he told me that it is absolutely impossible for a man’s penis to cause this sort of damage, and asked if we’d been shoving any large “items” up there???? Like what?? A small watermelon perhaps? The best part about this is that the bacteria from the yeast infections tend to make themselves at home in these tiny cuts, therefore never giving me relief from that uncomfortable yeast itch. No, I am not joking and yes my hands are constantly down my pants trying to figure out some sort of liveable arrangement between my “T” and my bottom.

Now, you may be thinking, “this girl is really whiny and obviously sensitive”, or “her diet is lacking in probiotics,” or “she probably sits at a desk all day and suffocates her ‘T’ with fancy non-cotton underwear.” But let me assure you, I consider my diet pretty healthy. I am not a big drinker and I drink tons of water, and I don’t have a lot of yeast in my diet and I eat tonnes of proteins and vegetables. Although I wear thongs they are cotton and I sleep sans panties at night to let my poor “T” breath. Yet my vagina continues to be a real twat, even with the use of my organic tampons!

Anyway, the point of this blog is to spread the true troubles of one’s twat and hopefully for me to find out that I am not alone. If anyone out there has any suggestions/ideas please do share!!

Irritably Yours,

Twat Troubles

Dating with Aspergers Syndrome

Dear Single Gals,

I have msn, facebook and yahoo. I have been on a few dating websites and I have received nothing and I do have aspergers syndrome and I think that may be why I have been single for that long what do you sexy girls think?

Andrew, England

Dear Andrew,

First, I have to say that it doesn’t matter whether you have a disorder or not…I’ve been single for 5.5 years and Single Gal has been single for 3 but we’re still optimistic! I mean look at Heather Mills…one leg and she married a Beatle!! (I had to use that example cause you’re from the UK). Remember that no matter what, there is always something that appeals to another, so you can’t discredit yourself.

Second, I don’t know much about Aspergers syndrome or Austism, but have you ever considered dating anyone with the same disorder as you? I would think that it would definitely be less threatening knowing that other person is in the same boat.

I searched the web and there seems to be some social networking sites out there for people with similar disorders (and the girls are cute too!) – one I found was http://www.weareautism.org/. If you just type in Autism and dating…many things come up. There are also many charity sites for Autism/Aspergers that require volunteers and hold events, this may be an option to get out there and meet people.

Here are a couple links and books that may be of interest to you:

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=10

http://ezinearticles.com/?Aspergers-and-Autism-Dating-Sites—Chat-Can-Easily-Get-You-Started-in-Finding-Your-Date&id=1544344

Autistic Guide to Dating – by Emelia Murry Ramey and Jody John Ramey

Aspergers in Love – by Maxine C. Aston

Good luck Andrew!

Single Chick

Still Single…

Dear Single Gals,

I have been single for six years can anyone help?

Andrew

Well Andrew that is a very good question. We’d probably need a little more information on you to answer this question properly, but here are a couple of suggestions anyways:

– Are you putting yourself out there? Or are you sitting in your house thinking the woman of your dreams is going to fall on your lap? Me and Single Gal both know, this will never happen. So for 2010, we have decided to get out of our comfort zone and try some random things like going to a pub to have a drink by ourselves or by playing softball in the Spring (even though we both suck).

– Do you ever get involved in Single events? There are many here in Toronto like sporting events, ski trips, speed dating etc. They must have these in England too. Try Googling “Single events London”…or wherever you are.

– What about online dating? This seems to be the way of the future as most people now are very busy and tend to set their lives up first and then try and fit someone in. The online thing can help with that, especially the EHarmony type websites that really nails down the type of person you are and the type of person you are looking for.

– Do people know you are single? Spread the word and you may get some blind dates out of it.

– Are you aggressive enough? If you see a girl who interests you, do you approach her? Here in Toronto, from our experience, men rarely approach girls and many of us really wish they would. Whether it’s at a pub, grocery store, gym or restaurant, get up the nerve and start a conversation, what’s the worse that could happen?

Take what you like from this and report back with an update, we’d love to hear about it!

Good luck,
Single Chick

Welcome to the Jungle

There seems to be a common concern among women about how they smell or taste down there. Unless you have a serious medical condition there is no need to stress over this too much. A simple rule to remember is that “You are what you eat”. So, if you love garlic (good for you because it has great nutritional benefits), it will come out your pores and all other sweaty orifices. Unless your man is a ‘Greek God’ he may not be so impressed with the taste of recycled garlic. So how can you enjoy the more pungent spices of life and still taste fruity fresh. Obviously eat lots of sweet fruits and drink pineapple juice or 5 Alive. This will guarantee that your man will be back to visit the Juicy Fruit Jungle!

Cheers!
Single Gal

Are we a monogamous?

Dear Single gals,

Do you really think that mankind is a monogamous species?

Questionable

Dear Questionable,

I would have to say No to this question. Very few animals are monogamous and we are not the exception. We are a species that adapts to our environment and a monogamous environment is what has been created for us and has been engraved in our subconscious for thousands of years. Can you imaging if we had evolved without the concept of monogamy? If there had never been such a thing as marriage or “life” partners? Families would still exist as we do crave human contact that isn’t always sexual, but it would be more like a pack type mentality. We would probably live in social groups where we would be promiscuous with many different people…something like the Chimpanzee. In most species, males are programmed to spread their seed and females are programmed to get the best seed and to that I say…there’s nothing wrong with wanting the best!.

Cheers!
Single Chick

Wondering Eye Balls

Dear Single Gals,

Is there a potion to stop wandering eyeballs?

I’m Over Here

Dear I’m Over Here,

Yes there is one sure way to stop wandering eyeballs. Stick a fork in them that will stop the self absorbed ass. Ok maybe that is a little harsh. First tell him you don’t like that he is looking at other women, and if he can’t respect that use the fork! Then dump him. If he is too busy looking for his next conquest while he’s with you, chances are good he does this all the time and his behavior will only leave you feeling insecure and hurt.

All the best, lets hope he just has A.D.D.

Cheers!
Single Gals

The Scratcher

Dear Single Gals,

How do you get them to stop scratching their “friends” in public?

Must They

Dear Must They,

Well I think if this is a reoccurring thing, that maybe he just needs to shower more often. However if he will not practice proper hygiene I think you should stand beside him and start scratching yourself down there to mimic him. Chances are that he’ll find your behavior embarrassing and ask what you’re doing. In which you can reply “doesn’t that turn you on?” Then when he says “No” you respond “Exactly!” If he does not get the hint, then jab a fork in his hand the next time he scratches and that should end it for good!

Cheers!
Single Gals

What Men Really Want

Dear Single Gals,

What do men really want?

Who Cares

Dear Who Cares,

This is simple, if they’re straight they want Vaginia and if they’re gay than they want Dick!

Cheers!
Single Gals

Going Down

Dear Single Gals,

I think us guys could use some tips on great oral techniques that you girls like.

Tongue Tied

Dear Tongue Tied,

Kudos to you for asking instead of putting the snorkel on and diving in head first. Every woman is different as to what they like, but I think most will agree that you should take your time, be gentle and use that tongue. Check out the link below, this article is right on the mark and “Single Gals” approved.

http://ca.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/36_love_tip.html

Now stud go flex that tongue muscle and make her scream.

Good Luck!

Cheers!
Single Gals

Spank Me

Dear Single Gals,

My boyfriend and I just started having sex. Well I must say that I like it a little rougher than what he’s giving. I would love for him to start talking dirty and spank me, but the relationship just started and I don’t want him to think I’m a freak. Any advice?

Very Bad Girl

Dear Very Bad Girl,

First off, you’re not a freak, you just like it a little dirty and there’s nothing wrong with that. We think that you should break him in slowly if you feel he may get freaked out. Try giving him little love bites. If you don’t get any resistance to that, then you should talk dirty to him; you can do this while in the act or even throughout the day through e-mail, voice message or text to get him thinking about you in that way. This should prompt his inner beast and get him to voice his dirty thoughts. Once you are both talking dirty to each other, you can take it to the next level and say “I’ve been bad today and need to be spanked” then bend over. If he doesn’t get the hint then he’s just not that bad boy in bed that you want.

Good Luck! We hope you found yourself a fellow freak.

Cheers!
Single Gals