Monday evening I turn on the TV and it happens to be on the OWN network. I see that Iylanla Fix My Life is coming on next. I was about to change the channel when the show starts and Iyanla asked “what’s making you single?” Then she goes on to say that she will be dealing with common mistakes that women make causing them to remain single. Needless to say I sat my ass back down and did not move from the TV for the next hour.
First she starts off with ‘It’s not HIM! Stop blaming HIM!’ Very powerful words, at first you may read this and get your knickers all bunched up but after you’ve gotten over your righteous indignation really think about these words. The ‘HIM’ in your life may very well be a narcissistic ass that puts you down all the time, a commitment phobe , lazy or whatever else you have labeled the men that have let you down. When she says stop blaming him she is saying look deep within yourself and ask WHY did you pick him in the first place? Did you pick the man who constantly puts you down because you believe that you are not good enough so you picked someone who is willing to verbalize your belief?
Do you believe that all the good ones are taken? That all men just want one thing and do not want to commit? Or that you don’t need a man because you can take care of yourself? Whatever it is that you’re verbalizing for you lack of love is exactly what you will find. Our limiting beliefs and fears will show up in our world. Buddha said it best “All that we are is the result of what we have thought”
Iyanla asked the audience to truthfully answer the following questions:
1) What’s getting in the way of finding the one you love? What gets in my ways is_______________
2) What is it that you don’t want a man to know about you? I don’t want him to know __________________
In order to fix your single life you need to fix your belief system. So ladies grab a notepad and write down all of your limiting beliefs and fears, read them, think about them and then write a new postive affirming belief beside it. Say these new beliefs out loud and start believing them.
Iyanla gave everyone homework, she said to go out there and say Hi to every man you pass (every man without a women hanging off his arm that is). Just say Hi without expecting anything from it. So gals get out there and a flash your pearly whites, and see what happens.
I beleive you will find the love that you truly desire, do you?