Do you need to break up with your food?

This blog post is probably not going to help my single status but I think this is something that needs to be shared. In the past couple of years I have developed food intolerances.

Food intolerance – Occur when the body is unable to deal with a certain type of foodstuff. This is usually because the body doesn’t produce enough of the particular chemical or enzyme that’s needed for digestion of that food.

My definition of a food intolerance would be uncontrollable passing of gas. Stomach bloating so bad that people will ask ‘So when are you due?’ thinking that you’re ready to give birth that second. Stomach cramps that have you doubled over in pain and praying that you will let rip the mother of all farts in hope of alleviating some of the pain. You smell like you’re a rotting on the inside. Granted anything coming out of your ass generally does not smell good but if you are having a reaction to your food it’s like rotten garbage sitting in the sun for weeks on end. Weight gain, some people are lucky and experience weigh loss but not this gal! You go from extreme bouts of constipation to 20 minutes bathroom sprints for a day maybe two. The bathroom sprints make you happy you are having a movement but by trip number 3 you begin to wonder just how full of shit you really are.

Two years back I was in my night school class studying Nutritional Symptomology when we started discussing the difference between food allergies and intolerances. As the teacher was going through the symptoms of an intolerance I realized he was talking about my issues. Finally it made sense, but the big question now was what am I intolerant to?

One way to find out if you have intolerances is to do an elimination diet. Eliminate the following foods Eggs, Dairy (includes cheese, yogurt, butter, chocolate), Soy, nuts, wheat and sweeteners; since they are the biggest culprits for food allergies and intolerances. Then slowly add them back into your diet and see if you have symptoms, remember you do not get an immediate reaction, you may feel symptoms the next day or even two days later.

Or you can visit a naturopath and get a get a blood test that specifically tests for food intolerances. Our doctors test for allergies not intolerances. This blood test can be costly but it’s a quick way to see what your issue are. This is the route that I went and I found out that I am intolerant to dairy, eggs, corn, kidney beans, almonds, and brewer’s yeast. I’m not gonna lie I shed a tear over this because this was going to change my life. Brewer’s yeast I love a cold beer on the patio in the summer sun with friends, DAIRY can anyone live without it!

When I eliminated these foods I felt great, got my will to live back (okay I’m just being dramatic) but I did feel like a new person. I even noticed that my skin looked better, I had more energy and my mood did not fluctuate. Hey when you are not walking around like a 9 month pregnant women waiting for the mother of all farts to be released; you are going to feel nothing but happy thoughts.

However I have relapsed, I am back to where I started and I feel awful. It’s hard when you’re single and a big part of your social life is having dinners and drinks with the girls every month, in the summer it’s about every two weeks. So YES I relapsed somewhere between the beers, poutine and nachos I hit rock bottom. I need to break up with my food once again. I know some of my friends find it hard to believe that beer and cheese  are my issues but it’s the sad cold truth. I also know it is hard to understand until you go through it. As much as I love those things I HAVE to give them up! It’s for my health and well-being.

On the plus side I will lose the extra weight I have gained, my skin will glow, I will not look preggo and no longer will I be spewing toxic fumes from my ass. It all good! I’ll miss my cheese and beer but I will get over it, they are not things I have every day and I can switch to wine right?

If any of this resonates with you I highly recommend you take the next step and get tested for food intolerances. Remember when you start feeling better still avoid those foods, because the symptoms will come back. Sadly when we are feeling good we forget what is was like when we weren’t feeling so great. Maybe take a picture of your bloated, pimply self and stick it on the fridge as a reminder and motivation.

Good Luck and remember you are not alone!