How to survive the online dating world

I grew up in the 90’s dating era, it was a time when you met a boy, he took your number and YES he called you. Usually, it ended up being a relationship. Imagine that meeting and investing time to get to know each other, how primitive.

Now I must contend with online dating, I have never been a fan but how does one find a life partner when you can’t go to events or social gatherings. I conceded defeat and joined Bumble, I like the concept that the woman has control, and that users can’t see when you are online.  I have been on the app for two months, had many conversations that go nowhere. I make 3 attempts to engage in conversation but it’s usually one-word answers with no real follow up.  

If you can breakthrough and have a conversation and it moves to talking outside the app (Second Base in the online dating world) it can go one of three ways.

1. After the first hey this Blah Blah Blah text he will ask for more pics, usually Tit Pics
2. You keep talking and set up at date. Then they will just disappear off the face of the earth until one day the Aliens send them back and they WILL reach out to you a week or two later with “Hey how’s it going?”
3. You make it to a date only to find out that the pics were from 10 years ago when he was 60lbs lighter and had hair. Post current pictures please that way if someone swipes right, they are interested in the person they see now not 10 years ago.  I know it’s hard to put yourself out there and as you get older you want to hang on to those glory days. But just do it because your person is out there, and they will eventually find you.  Yes, even after all this I am hopeful that my person will find me.

So how do you survive online dating?

1. Focus on yourself, start a self-care routine. I’ve bought a spin bike and have been working out daily. I am lucky enough to have medical plan that allows me to use it for alternative health practices. I have gone to the naturopath, got a couple of massages, next will be acupuncture. All things the strengthen my wellbeing. The better your feel about yourself the less you care when thing go nowhere online.
2. Delete your account! If you find that you are getting jaded or depressed by it all it’s time to delete your account. I do believe we attract what we are putting out. If we are expecting to meet mister Tit Pic we will meet him just to confirm our belief that they are all like that.
3. Maybe you have meet someone with strong potential and want thing to move along but you must deal with them and all their options or what they perceive are options. When the reality is the pool is not that big. You must come to terms that this may drag on and you may never meet, it’s up to you to decide how long you are willing to stick it out.  If you do this keep your options open as well.

Good luck out there, I know you can find what you are looking for just don’t lose yourself in the process. When that person comes along hopefully it will just flow and everything will easily fall into place. Be strong, take care of yourself and remember you are not alone. The struggle is real, but we need to believe that the universe has our back and will send that perfect person our way when the time is right.

Bissell Steam Mop – Review

This isn’t a sexy post but a real life Covid cleaning review. I have always been a bit clean freak and I love to clean – weird I know, but I find it therapeutic – this can be addressed in another post.

I’m always looking for new, environmental and efficient ways to appease my cleaning obsession and I think I’ve found it. I recently bought a Bissell steam mop for my hardwood floors and I want to let you know it’s a life changer. I don’t know why I never got on this train before but now that I have, I may never leave. 

I have 2 pups who are bougie and don’t shed and the condo gets dusty just because they have been working on a construction project not too far from me. I thought vacuuming and using my Bona was good – then I invested in this steam mop and I can’t say enough about it. The first time I used it I knew we were meant for each other. The dirt (yes dirt!) that it picked up was incredible. I also noticed that less dust and hair accumulated before my next full cleaning.

I got my steam mop on sale for around $135 CDN through the Bissell Canada website. It’s quiet, it’s compact (great for small places), it works and it’s environmental – just filtered water which becomes a heavy-duty steam.

If you want to clean with steam instead of chemicals this one’s for you. You will not be disappointed.

Yours,

Tips on how to survive Valentine’s weekend when you are single

In case this pandemic has you locked down in a bunker without TV or internet. You are very aware that it’s Valentine’s Day this weekend. We are getting bombarded with ads telling you that if he loves you, he will give you diamonds. Or maybe you have friends that are celebrating Valentine week and getting special gifts daily until the big day. You see post of couples expressing their love and how happy they are to have found their soulmate.

I call bullshit on 80% of those posts and good for you on the 20% that have found their person. I have never been one to get caught up in the hype of Valentine’s Day, it’s not a stat holiday so I deem it useless. Give me that day off work and I will get excited about it.

Does Valentine’s Day get you down?

I know some of you are probably feeling that loneliness of this time of year and it is to be expect. We can’t socialize due to lockdowns and the guilt that if you break the rules you may unknowingly be spreading the virus because you are an a-symptomatic spreader. Then on top of the pandemic stress, you have all the damn ads and posts making you feel unlovable because you are single!

You are loveable and to celebrate all that makes you…You! Take this weekend to show yourself some love and make Valentine’s Day as celebration of your awesome lovable self!

Tips on how to can celebrate you:

1. Buy something pretty. Have you been eyeing a pretty pair of earrings, or longing to buy those sexy thigh high boots? I am sure there is something you want and are thinking I wish I had someone to buy those for me. Don’t wait for that someone, buy them for yourself. The best gifts are the ones we get ourselves because we get exactly what we want!
   
   
2. Drink till you feel pretty. If you can see your friends, rally the troops and have a girl’s night in. Play games, drink wine, and remind each other that you are all fabulous!
   
   
3. Indulge in you favourite meal. Make your favorite meal, or order from your favourite place. Maybe you have been avoiding carbs and are dying for a pizza, I say make Valentine’s day a guilt free day for indulgence.  
   
   
4. Pamper yourself. Take a long bubble bath with a good book and a glass of wine. Give yourself a manicure/ pedicure, put on makeup to go grocery shopping because when you feel good you ooze confidence.

• Do an act of kindness. Most times the best gifts are the ones we give to others. There is a lot of joy to be had when you know you have brighten someone else’s day. I have a lovely 85 year old neighbour that lost her husband last April so I am going to put a little gift bag together for her and leave at her door on Sunday morning. She is always giving me little treats it the least I can for her.

How will I be celebrating?

My wonderful government is allowing me a single person to mingle with another household during this second round of lockdown in Ontario. I mean it only took them 10 months to figure out that maybe it’s not the best idea to have people living alone be totally isolated.

I have been invited to my brother’s (the household I have been mingling with) for Valentine’s Dinner, I go every week to mooch a meal but this week it’s going to be Valentine’s Day, I was told the menu, but my sister-in-law lost me a homemade chocolate cheesecake!

I am also expecting to get a chocolate man, my sister-in-law has gotten me them in the past, so I’m excited about that. Seriously ladies nothing feels better after a bad day of working for a narcissistic male then coming home to bite the head off your chocolate man.

Whatever you do this weekend enjoy yourself, be kind to yourself and remember you are not alone!

Would you live here?

Single Gals Utopia (A.K.A. Cougarville) – Where the grass is lush, and the bushes are trimmed.

I don’t plan on being single forever, but it may be the case. Dating today is hard and gets harder as we get older. The online dating world frustrates me to say the least. Meeting organically is impossible since we are all in lockdown. What are we Single Gals to do?

We should buy land…

Here’s my plan, I think we should ban together and purchase a big piece of land and build our own gated community. We all have our own homes with pools, tiki bars and an endless supply of wine.

Only good-looking men attend to the property, we’ll have pool boys, chefs and fitness instructors. We can sustain our community by selling our quarantine crafts. Ladies continue pom pomming, bedazzling, knitting, making mask sprays, beauty products and whatever else you’ve taken up during this past year.

In Single Gals Utopia there is no judgement! We will support, motivate, and rally for each other. No one will ever feel lonely and we will have an endless supply of hot men so we can all have one if we want

There will be activities such as:

• Erotic book club with wine
• Cooking classes with wine
• Daily fitness classes (wine after)
• Snow showing with wine (just because we need a winter activity)
• Disco Friday’s (just for you Alison, you know who you are)

Our theme song will be:

Courgerville ♬

Nibblin’ on Nachos

Watchin’ the Pool boys

Waxing my legs with high hopes

Smellin’ the french fries♫

Wastin’ away in Cougarville

 looking for my corkscrew for a twist off top.

Some people claim there’s a man to blame and their right! 

 Everybody knows it’s his damn fault. ♫

Now the big Question…

Would you live here?

I think I have a problem…

I love traveling, it’s the little things that make people happy and for me that little tor maybe big thing is traveling. I have a tendency of coming back from vacations only to find myself booking another one. I think the universe works with me and knows that traveling makes me sane. I say this because it seems like there is always a seat sale calling my name. They also seem to magically appear right after I return from holidays. I can’t explain this it’s just how it is.

As you know I went away to El Salvador with Hopeful and we just got back on the 15th of Feb. As luck would have it, there happened to be an AMAZING deal to NYC. I love NYC and I couldn’t just ignore this deal, and since I wasn’t able to plan a big trip for my birthday, a weekend getaway to the Big Apple is the answer.

Traveling isn’t a cheap or always a convenient option for many but one of the benefits of being single and making your own money is that you can spend it where and how you want. I also have the luxury of jumping at things when they come up because it’s only me and my travel partner(s) that need to be involved.

I hope all you ladies (and men) find what makes you happy and if you haven’t may I suggest you look into traveling. As you may have figured out it’s not really a problem for me it’s my answer J

Any problems you wish to share?

Queen B

Sometimes it takes 25 dates…

Over the holidays while I was visiting my family in New Brunswick I was reflecting on 2012 and what I wanted to do differently in 2013. I felt like I had done a lot of work on myself last year and I made a choice that this year I really wanted to put myself out there and open myself up to the possibility of dating. No more hiding or making excuses! So, how to do that?

If you’re like me then you aren’t sold on the idea of internet dating. It’s not that I don’t think it works- I do have friends that met their husbands online. But I also know lots of fabulous women who met a lot of duds and ended up giving up on it. Frankly I don’t have a lot of patience to sift through profiles and email with a stranger until a meeting is set up only to find out that their photo was 15 years old and they exaggerated everything about themselves. So, I decided to take a different approach and over Christmas break, I pre-registered for a Speed Dating Event!

I was drawn to this type of event as I love the idea of meeting someone face-to-face right away! I also thought it sounded like it would be a lot of fun regardless. So on Jan 30th, I attended my first ever Speed Dating Event. For this particular event, you showed up at 7 pm to sign in and get your name tag that also had a number on it. Then as the woman, you got to pick your table for 2. Most importantly, I then headed to the bar to get a large glass of wine! You are given a sheet of paper when you sign in that has on the left hand side a column of numbers and columns to check either a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ by each number. The right hand side of the sheet was for taking notes so you could remember who was who.

The dates started promptly at 7:30 pm where a guy sits down at your table and for 3 minutes, you ask each other questions and chat. I was lucky as the very first guy that sat down at my table had some very thoughtful questions and although I did not see us as being a potential match, he relaxed me and I started the night out thoroughly enjoying myself. Every 3 minutes, the bell would ring and your date would be over and the next guy would move into the seat across from you. You didn’t want to check a box in front of them so I was trying to rely on notes I was taking. I was also scrambling to get notes down as I didn’t want to sit there writing while talking to each guy.

There was an eclectic group of people at this event but overall, I have to say that everyone was really friendly and genuinely nice. Of course, there were a few cocky fellas in the bunch that didn’t really ask me any questions but talked about themselves the entire time….On the other side of the scale there was also a few awkward but sweet guys (one in particular that wanted to get a cat that I almost wanted to coach and tell him to pretend to be into sports). At one point I looked down the row of tables to see the ladies that had attended. I have to say that judging based on appearances, most of them were attractive ladies and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. There really wasn’t a sense of competition going on either- there really was an overall sense of fun and a bit of nervousness. I ended up going out with a few of the ladies I met there for a drink afterwards to unwind and chat about the night.

I ended up getting three matches from the event, which means that I checked ‘yes’ for them and they checked ‘yes’ for me. When you get a match, you get sent your matches’ email address and then it is up to you or him to follow up. Thus far, I went out on a date with one of my matches and I have two more dates lined up with the other two. However, the first date went so well that I would like to see him again! I sort of feel like I’m the bachelorette and I am weeding through my brood.

I have to say even if I didn’t have any matches, I had such a fun experience Speed Dating that I would definitely do it again. I would highly recommend it if you’re like me and like the thought of meeting people face-to-face in a safe and fun atmosphere. I would also recommend that you don’t do the event with a girlfriend. A lot of the women came in pairs and one guy told me that that was very off putting. He said that it is already difficult to come up with unique questions in such a short time and the added pressure that the friends are going to ask each other what they were asked afterwards was stressful. For me, I did it alone as I didn’t want to end up picking the same guy as one of my gal pals- what if we both ended up with the same match!

If my dates don’t end up leading to anything then I will sign up for Speed Dating again. Maybe I’ll see you there!

Commando Barbie

The best thing for a breakup?

Have you even seen a product and think WHY didn’t I think of that, it’s brilliant! Well this is the product that I wish I created!! Gals now we can eat and drink our emotions all in one shot..http://www.mercersdairy.com/Wine_Ice_Cream_home_page.php

I can eat and drink my emotions all a once.

Hot dude to have a fun sex affair with, interested?

While I was blissfully sleeping during the wee hours of Sunday morning, my phone was beeping like mad with text messages. Turns out Nerdy Girl (formerly Single Chick) was on the hunt to find me a booty call. Yes it’s gotten so bad that even my girlfriends are worried the my Va J-J may wither up and die.

I think this is a hint that I need to put myself out there. To be honest I kind of lost interest in my single status.  I’m busy with my 101 in  1001 days list, planning my next vacation, working out, trying to cook and getting up the nerve to book ‘The Edge Walk‘ for my birthday on August 25.

Turns out this major cutie is a friend of a friend, so Nerdy Girl told him all about me (Oh my) and gave him my number.  According to her he seemed interested; I think her drunk meter was at 100% so her perception of his interest is probably way off. However it would be great if he did call because I would love to hear his recap of that conversation.

Are your friends trying to fix you up with random strangers?

Have any of these fix ups ever amounted to anything?

If he calls should I go on a date with him?