Dirty Old Men Need Love To…

Yesterday was like any other day. I went to work, hit the gym then took the dogs out for a walk. It was on my evening walk where thing got interesting. I was propositioned by a married man!

The Indecent Proposal….

I’ve been living in my condo now for almost two years and have run into this gentleman (we’ll call him Dirty John) a few times. If you’re a dog owner you know the small talk game. You usually talk about the weather, pretend to be embarrassed when your dog tries to hump their dog, etc. I’ve always kept the small talk with Dirty John to ‘hello”, ”how’s Pepper doing?” and, “enjoy your walk.” Yesterday however, I ask him if he knew that there was a coyote loose in the area. So we chat about that and I go on my merry way. Just another regular encounter in the park, until… I run into him again just as we are walking home. He stops me and asks what I was doing for the rest of the evening, odd but I just said it’s TV time. He then proceeds to ask if I wanted some company … Hell No! This man lives with his wife in the building next to mine!. I said ‘NO, I’m good!’ and stormed off. 

 As I was walking away, the anger really set in. I was thinking “why would he think that was ok?” Then I recapped the whole encounter, trying to figure out what I did to make him think that my talking to him was more than a general courtesy. I started to blame myself for HIS behaviour! I think we women, still to this day, blame ourselves much too often. We blame ourselves for how men behave towards us, how they talk to us, how we feel after a situation arises, how our friends and family will see us, and the list goes on. I felt I did something to encourage him, but in retrospect he probably thought “what’s the worst thing that could happen?” She’ll say no, but if she says yes………. 

I know I should not let this man’s behaviour change who I am, but on subconscious level it has. I will now be wary of whom I speak to and how friendly I am towards them. This is the harsh truth of the matter. My behaviour will change, but I am sure, his will not. Is this what men think now? That any woman who converses with them are sending a signal that they want them? Have we gone so far that we have forgotten basic social interactions? Are people so use to interacting on their phones that when the opportunity to have face to face conversation happens, it’s only for the purpose of getting sex? 

 I believe the most upsetting thing about this encounter is it makes me lose hope that I’ll find a good man. You know the man that wants to get to know me, not just fuck me. But I don’t seem to be having any luck finding that guy, but I can take my pick from the Dirty Johns of the world. I have to assume it’s me, and that I’m giving off some vibe that makes me a conquest rather than a quest. It’s ironic if you think about it, I was with someone that did not want to have sex with me and now I only meet people that do and it still makes me feel bad. Where is the happy medium in all this? 

 Have you felt this way?